Raw Humanity

I meet around a couple of dozen patients every day I practice. They usually are under duress due to pain and anxiety. Simply said: people are generally not at their best when they do see me. Most have come to my clinic are either referred from the hospital or local dentists due to finances, infection or, in some cases, just being difficult patients to treat for one reason or another. They can be swollen, cranky, many of lower IQ or mental disabilities, smell bad in ten different ways, and come from all walks of life. And, despite all flaws, you have to open a part of yourself to accepting them as a person or they will feel it and not trust you with their health. The elderly and children are my favorite; they are the easiest to love.
I try to make this dreaded dental experience as positive as possible being upbeat and reassuring. I could rattle off my various degrees, knowledge, IQ, rankings, various professional experiences, but although that can be reassuring, what really matters is if you can connect. I like connecting. After a patient says "I hate needles", I jokingly say things like, "Well, if you actually liked needles I would be worried." To get a full health history, I ask them personal questions about their health and daily life. I ask difficult things like: "Are you ready to quit smoking?" or "How did you get this bruise?" and my least favorite, "Will you be able to pick up that antibiotic; it is four dollars at Walmart?" After passing personal boundaries by verbally asking about habits, health, hygiene, and even finances, I pass any personal space barriers as I examine their face, body and mouth.
I am more myself in this role than in most places. I love happily meeting people. A patient gives so much trust to you that one cannot feel any judgment towards them or they to you. It is a trusting give-and-take between two humans despite all differences; I don't even feel this at church. I am good at making them comfortable, helping them. I am positive; I'm glad when a high anxiety patient can laugh as I extract a tooth. I enjoy teaching my student assistants. The only other time I feel as at ease with myself is when I'm in my home with just my daughter and husband. I continue to pray for guidance on what I am to do. It is no secret that I would love to suddenly have no worries about debt or money and stay at home being a mom while my kids are small and donating my time to patients in need; but I just keep going and praying, following. I'm definitely standing too close to my life painting to get the full picture and I just keep trying to do the right brush strokes. It would be easier to go to a foreign country and give my services than to serve those nearby. I will be honest: a few of these patients are not easy to love or, at times, even like. Mostly, we live disparate lives. We are separated by a million things even though we are just people. I may wish for my cocoon of tranquil living but after seeing such raw humanity, I cannot wish for my blind naivete. Now, I'm tired but thinking and my thoughts turn to another man of humble birth. I'm going to have to think about Him and my patients more. Hopefully, this verbal spew-age makes sense in the morning.