You ever have one of those Sundays?
You know the kind: when you are not at all ready and regional conference starts in 30 minutes.
You hurry, get the fam ready, give yourself a shot through your nylons and tell the day, "Here we come!"
Once there, you spend most of the time in the foyer and Aunt Flo comes to visit on the wrong
week, let alone
day. Then, when you are happy at home with a napping toddler, you remember that you
promised that
both of you would go to choir. So, you wake that toddler up.
That toddler is
NOT happy. But you go to choir.
You
love the choir director since she has set up babysitting for you, but your
grumpy-woken-up-from-her-nap-terrible-two-year-old won't stay in the playroom and keeps coming to the choir room. You try to be good natured at first explaining things to the toddler; then after that doesn't work, you get firm and try to "parent" the two year old to stay where she is supposed to. She stays a while in the playroom while you sing in the choir room.
You have a lovely time while get your breathing and singing critiqued by your well-meaning, critical, yet beautifully singing choir member who sits next to you.
Then, that cute little toddler comes in and needs to go potty.
She is, of course, in panties so you have to take her out of the choir room yet again. Usually after she asks to go potty and then succeeds you give her one little M&M or candy.
She remembers.
You never give much candy out because hey, you are a dentist and are basically a bit Nazi about treats.
You don't have any candy.
You explain this.
You place her back in the playroom.
She comes to the choir room.
She loudly declares that she needs her candy that she earned from going potty.
The prayer is starting by the lovely Bishop's wife.
It is a LOVELY prayer.
That toddler though is feeling pretty strongly about her earned candy though and declares it over and over again. You try to "shush" her and then you think, "This prayer can't be that much longer, so we'll just wait it out."
Even though you usually run out of Sacrament the minute she misbehaves, but hey, this is choir practice, right?!
The lovely reverent prayer is still being very lovely though for a while longer.
And your toddler is still persistent about her candy probably because you are so stingy with it in the first place! And you don't know whether to dart out and make a ruckus or just wait a just second more till the prayer ends.
But it doesn't end.
You made the wrong choice long ago! You are ready to sink into the floor and disappear.
You should have left! And the toddler goes on and you just plead and pray the Lord understands as you cringe and
cringe.
And then you see the humor of the situation. And you think, "And I'm wanting another one of these lovely "I want can'y" declaring children?!?! Why didn't I just up and run out thirty seconds ago?!"
AND then you try not to laugh or cry. I'm not for sure which would have happened, but the really good prayer by the pretty Bishop's wife ended.
I said a silent prayer asking for forgiveness for not being the parent that could silence my child who was trained like a Pavlov's dog to get one tiny candy after going "potty". And so I tried to catch the Bishop's wife's eye for an apologetic wince and ready to slink out of choir without further notice.
When
that was all over, I thought, "We made it."
But, oh no: IT WAS NOT OVER!!!
That well-meaning, critical, yet beautifully singing choir member of mine had to look down at me and my child
and said this,
"HUMPH!" Five times. Five humphs. You know, the critical "What kind of parent are you?" high pitched humphs
full of meaning while staring down at you and your child.
And, yeah, I
know that I should have ran with that child
like there was a fire burning out of the room during the prayer, but I truly thought my daughter would fold her arms like usual. I didn't know that my toddler was so repetitive!
I'll be honest: I don't have a five star parenting rating yet. I'm lucky if I have one star that is pointing the right direction! If you really need to express your opinions about my parenting, please give some advice or help - I truly would love it! I have loved "Love and Logic" and other books I've been referred to. Other women who are more experienced than me have taught a lot by example. Luckily for me, my PeaPod is active and determined but also sweet and obedient. And today was one of those crazy exceptions that left me ready to hide even before the harrumphing.
But, please, with the "Humph"s
please refrain. They really don't give me any info. FIVE TIMES! I'm serious!
Have you ever been "Humph"ed?! for your parenting? It is seriously bad to be "humph"ed. It works really well to humiliate, but what good does that do?
Maybe I should just think that this sister has a high pitched "hurmph" disease or something.
I seriously should have just laughed at her "humph"ing (that sounds a bit naughty)
but instead I said, "Just remember when you had a two year-old." (which she probably can't remember) and left.
I'm seriously going to pray for forgiveness tonight and will ask the Lord, "Be thou merciful to the thy stumbling parents."
Notice:
Please help me not sin so much by refraining from that judgmental "humph". Drives me nuts.Is it too much to pray for laryngitis?